Bite Me
by CultofCullen
Summary: Dr. Cullen tries to remain professional when his "handsy" patient, Bella, tries to crumble his resolve. AU/AH
1. Chapter 1

"Have a seat, Miss Swan. I will be in to see you shortly."

Miss Swan had been a patient of mine for two years now. Cute, petite, and gorgeous gleaming white teeth. She kept her teeth meticulously clean, probably because of her overwhelming fear of dentists. I had to give her credit for bravery just coming for a cleaning. I suppose, if you have a gut-wrenching fear of dentists, it's best to keep your teeth as clean as possible in the interim, so you don't have to endure the more painful and torturous procedures.

Unfortunately, Miss Swan's anxiety was so intense that she was forced to be partially sedated, even for simple tooth cleanings. This would be fine, under normal circumstances, except that when she was under sedation of any type, she got a bit...flirty.

Okay, she got a bit more than flirty.

She was quite..."hands on".

My sister, Alice, who was also my dental assistant, thought this was hilarious. Personally, I thought she just liked watching me squirm. More unfortunately, was that my sister was sick today, and the other dental assistant was on vacation. This meant that I was going to have to work extra hard to keep Miss Swan's hands to herself.

A brief thought flitted through my mind of leather wrist straps, which resulted in yet ANOTHER hard-on. Great.

Yes, I might have a tiny crush on Miss Swan...if by tiny, you mean epic and wholly overwhelming.

As if the misfortune of having no assistant wasn't enough, I was going to be forced to take her home, as well. This was not a typical thing for me to do with patients, mind you. I was doing it out of the goodness of my heart, because Alice and Miss Swan were old college buddies and Alice was usually called upon by Bella to take her home.

Miss Swan usually scheduled herself for the last appointment of the day and then was driven home, half-baked, by my giggling sister. Alice used to tease Bella that she was going to videotape Bella's ramblings and musings, possibly posting them on YouTube. Bella may have threatened Alice's life in retaliation. I chuckled a bit at that thought and headed out to the waiting room.

"Miss Swan?"

She looked up from the magazine she was reading, the trembling of her hands giving away her nervousness. Her steps were even slower, as if she were walking to the electric chair.

"How are you today?" I asked, making small talk and attempting to distract her.

"F-fine. I'm fine."

I arched an eyebrow at her in disbelief.

Her eyes fell to the floor, "O-okay, so I'm not th-that fine."

"Well, Miss Swan, you're in good hands. I promise. Never lost a patient."

A nervous snort/giggle escaped her mouth, which she covered with her trembling hand. "I know you are a good dentist. I've never had a problem with you, yet. I just...I had a bad experience when I was little...and...well...it kind of scarred me for life."

I wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder and flashed her a confident smile. "I understand. It happens more often than you think. I'll do my best to make sure you have a peaceful experience, Miss Swan, agreed?"

"Bella."

"Bella?"

"Yeah, you can call me Bella. And yes, I-I agree."

"Did Alice call you?"

She nervously bit her bottom lip, "Um, yeah, she told me. You're going to drive me home then?"

"Sure. And I promise, nothing you say can or will be used against you on YouTube," I laughed, trying to add a bit of humor to our conversation to relax her.

"Well, thank goodness for small favors. Also, I'll have you know that if Alice DID try to convince you with a bribe, I'll pay you double what she's offering to keep it off YouTube as well."

I didn't want to mention to her some of the X-rated things she was prone to saying or doing in my presence under sedation. I don't think YouTube allowed porn anyway, so she was safe.

Another squeeze around her tiny shoulder and I'd have to release her, lest she think I'm some sort of lecherous pervert.

The room was prepped and ready for her. IV station beside the chair, equipment hidden from her sight by a cloth, which wouldn't appear until she'd been properly sedated.

We'd had this discussion during her first consultation. She required only three things: 1) IV sedation, as laughing gas made her vomit; 2) Allowance for her to use her iPod, so she could listen to her relaxation music that she'd received from her therapist; and 3) As little equipment visible, as possible. First sight of any shiny silver tool and she'd be up and running. Thankfully, that hadn't happened yet. I was hoping it never would. I was the longest running dentist of her life and I valued her trust in me.

"Okay, have a seat, Miss...er, Bella. I'll let you get your music started while I prepare the IV."

She hurriedly rifled through her purse and pulled out the tiny silver iPod with pink noise-cancelling earbuds and situated herself on the chair.

I turned around to see her cocooned in her long trench coat, hands shoved tightly into the pockets.

"Bella, I'll need you to remove the jacket."

She flushed a beautiful shade of pink. "Oh, yeah...sorry."

I turned back around to saturate the cotton pad with antiseptic and nearly dropped it on the floor. Bella wore a stunning satin crimson colored button-down blouse with a deep v-neck, coupled with a charcoal black pencil skirt and four inch black peep-toe pumps. If I stood at the head of the chair, I'd be able to see the detail of her bra, as the blouse gaped in all the wrong...or, right places.

I was so distracted by this beautiful creature in front of me that I hadn't even noticed that she was paying no attention to me, her earbuds firmly in place, eyes closed, and practicing deep breathing exercises in an attempt to calm herself a bit.

Her left hand rested comfortably on the armrest of the chair and I moved to swab her hand with the antiseptic. It didn't escape my notice that she tensed when the cool liquid swiped over her skin. I spent more time than was really necessary, rubbing slow relaxing circles with the disinfectant, until she had unclenched her muscles a bit. Before she had a chance to think about the needle being inserted, I just got down to business and popped it in as quickly and carefully as I could. I thanked any higher power that would listen for her good veins. I taped the needle securely onto her hand, as she had a tendency to move around more than a bit while under the influence.

I walked back to the sink, disinfecting my hands more thoroughly than they needed to be and covered them with latex gloves, while I waited for the drugs to take effect.

When I turned around, I could tell they'd already begun to work, as a lazy smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.

"Okay, Bella, let's get started, shall we?"

"Mmmmmm..." was her lethargic response.

So far, so good. This would be a piece of cake.

_Ha Ha, Alice. Ha Ha._

I got out the paper bib and laid it on her chest, attaching the chain to one side and trying to slip the other end behind her neck. It wouldn't slip easily behind her head, so I cupped behind her neck and pulled her head forward. Bella misunderstood and reached forward, wrapping her tiny hand around the back of my neck and attempted to kiss me, eyes closed and lips puckered comically.

My hand let go of her neck and reached behind mine to untangle her fingers from my hair. _God, it felt so good there._ I may or may not have allowed her to drag her fingertips slowly down the length of my jaw, before her hand fell heavily into her lap. She was looking at me now with an exaggerated pout.

"Now Bella, I need you to behave yourself. Let's open up so I can take some pictures of your teeth," I directed, in the voice I usually reserved for my youngest patients.

The pout remained and her mouth remained closed. My index finger nudged her lower jaw downward and I attempted to place the bite wings into her mouth. As I put my fingers into her mouth, she reached up and clasped tightly onto my arm, bringing my finger across her tongue, sucking it like...well, you know.

I felt my pants tighten as my dick sprung to life in response.

"Fuck..." I muttered under my breath, placing her hand again onto the armrest, not removing it until I was sure it was going to stay there a while.

I nudged her mouth back open with my other hand and finally succeeded in placing the bite wings and pushing her mouth closed. I placed the lead vest across her chest and she seemed to snuggle down further into the chair. It looked as if she'd fallen asleep, peaceful as an angel, with her wavy mahogany hair splayed out over the edges. I quickly went to the other room and clicked the picture of her teeth and settled back into the stool beside her to remove the vest and bite wings.

She snored a bit as I reached in and grabbed the film from her mouth. Good, maybe she'd sleep through the rest of the procedure. That would be a first.

The pictures showed a mostly perfect set of teeth. Unfortunately for Bella, there was a small occlusion that would possibly need to be filled within the next few months. Damn, so much for perfect records. I'd ask her if she wanted me to take care of that today, but being incoherent from the medication didn't afford me the opportunity.

Deciding to suck it up and get to work on the cleaning, I placed the tube in her mouth that would suck all of the debris and excess saliva from her mouth. Bella had other ideas, however. Her tongue reached forward and tried to lick the edges of the tube. I quickly pulled it back.

"Bella? I need you to open your mouth and I'm going to place this under your tongue. You'll need to hold still."

Her eyes opened, blurry with the drugs that were warming her body. "Hmmmmm?"

Slowly, her hand reached up and pulled the earbuds from her ears. One of the earbud's padding remained in her ear. I chuckled and removed the offending remnant from her ear and carefully placed it back on the earbud. She giggled. "A lil pinkie marrrmallllooowww."

"Sweetie, I need you to open wide and let me put the tube in your mouth and under your tongue."

"Mmm...kay, mmmllliiiike marrrmallllooooow," she complied, lazily, rolling her eyes up into her head as she opened her mouth.

I brought the tube back to her mouth and she obeyed, keeping the tube hooked in place, right where I needed it.

Now, not only was the medication hindering her speech, but so was the tube.

"Beeeeehhhhh, disss noooot marrrrmallloooooow."

She was too adorable for words. Our eyes met, when hers weren't rolling into the back of her head that is. "That's because it's not a marshmallow, Bella. Now, I need you to be very, very quiet, so I can work on your teeth. Okay?"

"I noooooo ike wahhhing ahnnnn teeh."

"I know you don't like me working on your teeth, but I'll be quick, okay?" I'd become quite good at translating over the years.

"Nooooooo...nah kiiiiiick...ike slloooooooooow."

Shit. How much harder was I going to get? _Focus, Cullen, just focus._

Then, she started giggling. A lot. If my hands weren't full of tooth gunk, I would have pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, or ran my hands through my hair.

"Bella, you need to be quiet. No talking. No giggling. Okay?"

She saluted me in an exaggerated fashion, then pretended to lock her mouth shut and throw away the key. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and laughing.

Her fingers came up to meet her lips.

"Shhhhhhhh..." she slobbered around her fingertips.

"Ewwwwww..." she exclaimed, as she noticed the stringing spit dangling from it. I reached for her hand and wiped it off on the corner of her bib.

"See this armrest, Bella? I need your hand to stay right...there." I placed it back on the armrest. _Please let it stay there. Please!_

And, before she could say another word, "And no talking."

She nodded.

I uncovered my tray of tools and picks, removing one to remove the plaque and tarter buildup from around and between her teeth. I scraped and picked out tiny remnants that her toothbrush and floss had not removed. It wasn't too bad. I squirted water over her teeth and sucked it up with the tube. Bella still remained quiet and still. I muttered another prayer of thanks to the heavens.

I half-stood to begin work on her back teeth, leaning forward a bit to get a better look, when my cock brushed up against the armrest. The armrest that currently had her hand resting on it. Or, at least it was until just a few seconds ago. _Shit._

Her hands bumped into my hardened bulge. Then, the back of her hand stroked up in a maddeningly slow path to the tip. Then down to the base, curling around to allow her knuckles, one by one, to brush over my balls. I stood there, frozen, eyes closed...kinda hyperventilating.

_Dead animals. My grandmother's naked body. Bloody puppies on the side of the road._

Nope, that wasn't cutting it. My breath quickened and I tried with all my might to gain control.

Her hand turned around and palmed my erection, then gave it a light squeeze. I may have heard a choir of angels singing. I can't really be sure, as all the blood has traveled down to my nether regions, leaving my brain decidedly oxygen and blood deprived.

Stifling a moan, I reached for Bella's hand and placed it in her lap. I've never been more thankful that this drug is an amnesiac.

She let out a tiny whimper and jutted her little lip out again. I wanted to push it back in. With my cock.

I do the "I'm a professional" chant about a million times until I can stop my hands from shaking.

I began to scrape and pick away again, hyper-focusing on each individual tooth. I was so concentrated on the task at hand that I didn't even notice Bella's hand, which had previously been stroking my cock into submission, start to creep down to the hem of her skirt, skimming it up her thigh, and then back up to the juncture between her legs.

"Mmmm...guhhhhhh..." she moaned, her head arching back against the head rest and causing me to have to remove my hands from her mouth and notice what she was doing.

I choked a bit on the lump in my throat, as she began to stroke and press against her mound, moaning and writhing in pleasure.

"Maays meee hoooornyyyyyy."

Of course, the drugs made her horny. Great.

"Bella, you need to keep your hand on your stomach, okay sweetheart?" I ground out between gasping breaths.

"Meeeeeeeannnnieeeeee..." she slurred.

"Mere," she directed, crooking her finger at me. I don't know what I was thinking, but I stepped closer. Like I said, there wasn't much oxygen getting to my brain.

Her hand reached out and grabbed my hand, placing it on her stomach.

"Um, Bella? I need YOUR hand on your stomach. Not mine."

"Pfffffffttttt," Bella raspberried at me. Admittedly, even with the half teaspoon of drool that accompanied it, she was still turning me on.

And then she struck gold, or rather I did, when she pulled my hand between her thighs and I felt the evidence of her heat burning at my fingertips. It was scorching and just enough to pull me back into something resembling reality. Reluctantly, I pulled my hand away.

"Bella," I attempted to get her attention...between panting, that is, "you REALLY, really need to stop doing that."

She giggled a bit, then brought her hands together on her chest and closed her eyes. It looked like she was trying to imitate someone in a casket. I didn't care, as long as it got her to stop touching me, touching herself, and...shit, I was gonna cum in my pants if I didn't stop thinking about this.

"Good girl," I praised her. "Now let's get to cleaning those teeth."

"Guhhhhhhhh," she moaned, her chest heaving a bit. I tried not to look as I mixed the paste together.

"Strawberry or bubble gum flavoring?"

Her response was another giggle.

"You knoooooow whaaaa I liiiiiieeee..."

"Bubble gum, then?" I questioned, turning around to see her nodding enthusiastically. "Alright, open wide. We're almost done!"

"Heeeeeeeee," she drowsily laughed.

One by one, I scoured each tooth until it glinted in the overhead light. Beautiful. Not a bad job, if I did say so myself. Bella had kept her hands clasped together on her chest and had behaved herself through the rest of the cleaning and for that I was eternally grateful.

I sprayed her mouth with water and swish it around in her mouth to remove the remaining debris and brought the tube towards her mouth to suck the liquid out. Most doctors had their patients spit into a sink, but it always annoyed me, because the saliva would be so thick that it would string from the little sink to their lips and when they attempted to wipe it with the bib, it would string to that as well. This was much less messy, in my opinion. Besides, as looped as she was, I could only imagine the mess she'd make.

I moved the tube toward her mouth, but she held her hand up, wordlessly informing me that she hadn't finished swishing.

"Okay, Bella. I think that's enough for now. Let's open up a bit so I can get that nasty stuff cleared out. Ready?"

I should have seen it coming. Really, I should have. I've been doing dentistry for 10 years and all my training should have prepared me for it, but it didn't. I blame Bella and her red satin blouse...the blouse that currently had the watery mess running down the front of it.

"Reeeehhhhrreeeeee."

Sighing loudly, I replied, "I see that you're ready and...it looks like you made quite a mess in doing so."

"Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo!" she cried, attempting to soak up the mess with her bib. It wasn't working. "I spenna hunned dollah onnissss!"

"Bella?" I tried to get her attention. She just kept swiping it, stringing the gooey saliva all over the place. "Bella! Here, let me take care of that."

I moved her hands out of the way and removed the bib. It was every-damn-where. On her skirt, her blouse, and because of her seated position, it was running between her legs through the cotton. My hands raked over my face. There was no way I could drive her home looking like that. What was I going to do?

"I'm going to go find you something else to wear. I'll be right back," and with that, I left Bella in the chair and frantically looked in the supply closet to find a pair of extra scrubs that Alice kept around in case of an emergency.

You never knew when a tooth pulling could spatter some blood on you and nobody wanted to walk around for the rest of the day with a red polka-dotted mess on their shirt. Not to mention, it also scared the kids. I located the items with ease and thanked my lucky stars for her impeccable organizational skills. The tiny pink scrubs wouldn't fit well, but it'd be close enough until I could get her home and changed into something more appropriate.

Walking back into the room, scrubs in hand, I was met with a sight that nearly knocked me on my ass. There stood Bella, naked as the day she was born.

Oblivious to my condition, she reached out for the scrubs.

"Gimmmmeee," she ordered, snatching them from my hands. I just stood there, staring, jaw dragging on the floor in awe.

_Look away, Cullen. Look away! Look the fuck away! Are you even listening, Cullen?_

My brain had headed south for the winter as my eyes trailed over her well-toned torso, her neatly manicured...oh yes, she trimmed down there. My head tilted a bit in wonderment. The women I'd been with in the past had always waxed to the point that they didn't even resemble a woman. Yet, here she stood before me, in all her nude glory, with the modest little patch of chestnut curls covering her womanhood. It was breathtaking.

"Uck...I dooooonnnt liiiiike p-p-piiiiiiinkkkk."

Of course you don't.

The scrubs hit me in my dumbstruck face and then dropped down to the floor.

"Bella, you have to wear something out of here. You can either wear the wet clothes or you can wear the dry scrubs. Which will it be?"

"Nooooooooo! I haaaaaane piiiiiiiiiinkkkkk!"

"This isn't debateable, Bella. You need to put on some clothes. Now!"

I shoved the scrubs back in her direction. The pink pile of fabric slammed into my chest as she closed the distance between the two of us, molding her body against mine and tucking her head under my chin.

"I wearrrrrr youuuuuu hooooooommmmmmme."

I whimpered like a five year old with a skinned knee. I held the scrubs in place, but she kept writhing around until her puckered nipples were doing a hypnotic dance across the backs of my her lips were doing their own brand of magic against mine.

"Bella," I whispered gruffly against the sensual assault, "y-you n-n-need to g-get d-d-dressed."

And then her warmth was gone.

"Fiiiiiinnnnne paaaaarrddy poooooperrrr."

Now I was a party pooper. Go me.

She huffed and pouted, trying to make heads or tails of the shirt, and having extreme difficulty telling which end was up.

_Oh for fuck's sake..._

Snatching the shirt from her hands, I snarled at her, "Here, let me help you."

I bunched up the fabric around the neck and pulled it down over her silken tresses. Maybe it made me just a little bit effeminate, but I wanted to know where she bought her conditioner. First, because it smelled temptingly amazing and second, because her hair felt softer and smoother than satin. It was probably why I offered to pull her long locks through the neck of the shirt, taking "extra special" care to make sure every strand was pulled through.

Her lips assaulted mine again, tongue wrestling it's way between my lips.

"Mmmph, Bella! Shirt on. No kissing!"

A sound escaped her that was like nothing else I'd ever heard. It was loud, high-pitched, and devastating. She was whining. How could I deny her?

"Let's get you dressed and then we'll talk about kissing, okay sweetie?"

Her lips pulled out of the pout she was sporting and curved up into a smile, her newly cleaned teeth gleaming in the dim light.


	2. Chapter 2

"And your pants," I instructed her.

She looked at me as if I had grown a pair of horns.

"You need to put some pants on Bella."

Her head tilted. Again, she looked confused.

"You're not wearing any pants and we can't walk outside if you're not wearing pants, so let's put these on, shall we?"

I was trying my best to ignore how tight Alice's scrub top looked against her bra-less chest. I busied myself by putting her clothes into a nearby plastic bag.

Bella just stared at me blankly. **Please don't make me have to finish dressing her. I don't think my poor heart can take it!**

My hands held the tiny pink scrub pants in her direction and realization seemed to finally dawn on her. **Thank God!** She looked up at me the same time she leaned over to put her foot in the leg of the pants...

...and started falling forward.

Normally, I have very quick reaction time. It was a rare occurrence for me to drop anything, because I always seemed to catch it before it hit the floor. This time, however, I wished with all my might that I had vampire speed, or something, because as Bella tipped forward, she landed with her face directly in the vicinity of my crotch.

To be more accurate, her mouth landed against my uncontrollable erection.

Then she hummed in satisfaction, leaving her mouth right up against my zipper. The vibrations were slowly killing me and my nuts all but groaned in protest. Or was that me?

Can a person die from blue balls? I'd have to Google that.

She moaned and kissed the fabric of my dress pants, snugly fitting the bulge between her greedy lips. Did I let her continue and hope she didn't remember this in the morning? I really wanted her to, medical license be damned!

"Bella?" My voice squeaked, just like it did when I was a preteen.

Her gaze traveled up, ever so slowly, and latched onto mine.

"I need you to put your pants on. It's time to go home."

I don't know where the strength came from to get the air to pass through my vocal chords.

She didn't move. I tried to will her away with my mind. I'd have to start reading up on telepathy.

"Bella," I ground out in a harsh whisper through gritted teeth, "you need to finish getting dressed. Now."

That did it. She looked down at herself and realized she had her pants halfway to her knees. Frowning a bit, she plopped down hard onto her rear and started yanking the pants into place.

Meanwhile, my penis was simultaneously thanking me for releasing it from the torture of her tantalizing lips and cursing me for prohibiting it's desperate release. Obviously, my penis didn't care if I was able to make the payments on my new Volvo.

Stupid professionalism and ethics.

As the lust fog started to lift from my brain, I realized that Bella was still trying to put her pants on. She was now laying flat on her back and arching her underwear-free pelvis into the air, in an attempt to pull the way-too-small scrub pants over her hips. I caught a flash of her glistening pussy, before it was covered up in that hideous pink fabric of the pants.

My penis and I sighed wistfully.

"All done?" I inquired, offering a hand to help her up.

"Cannn't get uuuuup."

I sighed again. **of course you can't** This girl was going to be the death of me.

"Come on, Bella. Just sit up and take my hand. I'll pull you up."

Of course, it couldn't be THAT easy.

"Noooooooo! Heeeeeelllp meeeeee!" Her whine was so cute. I wanted to record it so I could listen to it whenever I wanted.

I tried to look stern. No, really I did!

"Bella," I commanded in my most authoritative voice, "take my hand."

Surprisingly, it worked and I felt her warm little fingers clasp around my hand.

I should have known that this couldn't go down easy. It was like Murphy's Law had been written with me specifically in mind.

And with that fleeting thought, came a quick tug. This tug, which was not expected, pulled me off-balance and onto the floor, or more accurately, onto her.

Luckily, or not-so-luckily, as the case may be, I managed to straddle her as I descended onto the floor. She took that as incentive to grind her hips up in my pelvic region.

Purely going on animal instinct, I pinned her wrists to the ground and gently thrust back into hers. Menace, laced with lust, clouded my vision as I gazed down at this beauty beneath me.

"Bella, you HAVE to stop doing this!" When did my voice become so gruff?

Her hips undulated beneath me once again and I sucked in a steely breath and shook my head in an attempt to tighten my resolve.

All that resulted was her responding with a breathy handful of giggles that threatened to make me lift her right up off the floor and into the nearest wall where I'd piston my cock into her slick warmth until we both exploded with release.

And we couldn't have that. Could we? I swore my penis asked me the same question just now, but with much less conviction.

So, with careful calculated movements, I pulled my hips off of hers and lifted my leg until I was no longer straddling this temptress. My hands, which still trapped both wrists, pulled her up into a seated position and then into a standing position. It really didn't hinder her as much as I'd hoped, because she just molded herself once again into the front of my body, purring with satisfaction.

"Lesssssss go hooooommmmmmmme," she pleaded.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to pay attention to my watch and try to calculate how long it would be until the medication wore off and I could be rid of this excruciating assault to my manhood.

Two more hours, if my estimation was correct.

I grabbed Bella's wrist in one hand, and my keys in the other, and headed out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Dragging Bella to my car was like towing a petulant child to sit on Santa's lap for the first time. She wasn't having any of that.

"Come on, Bella. Get in the car."

"Nooooooo!" she whined, loudly. Great, now the entire neighborhood thinks I'm either a kidnapper or a rapist.

I tried another approach.

"Bella, I have some kisses I want to give you in my car. Do you wanna see?"

There, that should do it.

She contemplated, making a weird scrunched up face that made me snort a little.

"Mmmmmmokay!"

Success!

Or so I thought, as she crawled onto the front seat on her hands and knees, ass popped up in the air, then crossed over the gear shift and seated herself on the driver's side. Then, her hand stuck out impatiently, as if expecting me to hand her something.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Need...um...need keysss."

I rolled my eyes for what seemed like the millionth time today.

"Bella, you can't drive. I'm driving you. This is MY car."

She crossed her arms over her bosom and pouted, adding a little "Hmpf!" for added effect. I just shook my head and walked around to the driver's side of the car.

I clicked the unlock feature on my key fob and reached for the door handle, but before I could pull it, Bella had relocked the door.

Calming myself with a deep, cleansing breath, I punched the key fob again and went for the door handle. Again, Bella relocked the door, emphasizing her apparent displeasure with her tongue sticking out at me.

Sighing deeply, I readied my key fob once again, this time grabbing the door handle as I did so and yanking it open before she could lock it again.

"Gotcha!"

Bella squealed with surprise! Realizing she wasn't going to win, she crawled in the same fashion as before into the passenger seat, situated herself and recrossed her arms over her chest again. "Think yer soooooo smart. Smarty McSmartPants."

I just chuckled and shook my head, starting the car and readjusting the rear-view mirror that she'd bumped with her head as she crawled over the seats. I was just about to put the car in drive, when I noticed that Bella didn't have her seat belt on.

"Bella, you need to put on your seat belt."

"No," she quickly answered. Why could nothing be easy with her today? Why?

"Bella," I chided, feeling like I was speaking to a two year old, "We have to be safe on the drive home, so I need you to put your seat belt on."

Her eyes met mine with an icy stare. The temperature in the car dropped thirty degrees, I swear!

"No. I don' like seat belts. Not wearin' one."

She faced back towards the front of the car, rebelliously ignoring me.

"Bella, if I have to strap you in myself, I will. Now, will you be a good girl and put on your own seat belt, or do I have to treat you like a baby and do it for you?"

In that moment, I had a feeling I was looking at my future, when I started having babies of my own.

Bella looked over at me and fumbled for the seat belt without looking. I knew that if I laughed, this precarious cooperation could fly right out the window—possibly literally—so I kept my mouth-twitching to a minimum.

"Okay, alright, I goddit. Happy now?"

A face-splitting grin crept into my features, as I realized I'd actually won this round! _Victory! Sweet Victory!_

I placed the car into reverse and backed out of my parking space and pulled out into the evening rush hour traffic. There was a back-up on the highway and it looked like we might be there a little while.

"Do you want to listen to some music?"

Bella stared blankly out at the cars ahead of us.

"Bella?" She turned her head to look at me, her eyes drowsy and hooded. Her head bobbing side to side with lethargy.

"Hmmm?"

"I asked you if you wanted to listen to some music."

Her shoulders shrugged non-committally, so I took that as a yes and put on some easy listening tunes. I was feeling a bit stressed out and needed to unwind with some calming tunes.

My eyes scanned the landscape and it looked like they were moving a bit ahead of me, so it wouldn't be too much longer.

While I was pondering the progress of the traffic, I felt a soft bump against my shoulder and thought Bella had just punched me lightly in the arm, but it turned out to be Bella's head. _Of course.._.

"Mmmmm...music makes me sleeepy. I'mma take a nap. Right. On. Yer. Arm. You havvvann arm pillow!"

Whatever. If it kept her quiet and not pawing my junk, she could do it.

The stillness was pleasant and I was starting to enjoy having her warmth radiating over my bicep. Unfortunately, I made the fatal mistake of deciding to wrap my manly arms around her, in order to make her more comfortable. (Okay, and maybe I like cuddling, but if you tell anyone, I'll deny it with my last breath.)

With that movement, Bella tucked into my side, but the lethargy was too much and she slipped down...down...down...right into my lap.

Mind you, she WAS asleep, so someone up there had some mercy on me, but her face was all but buried in my thighs and I could feel her hot breath wafting over the fabric of my pants.

And then she started to squirm, as if she was trying to get comfortable. And then she squirmed some more. Her scalp assaulted my blessedly flaccid cock until it was once again straining against my zipper, yearning to breathe free.

"Can't get comfy. Oomph!"

_Yeah Bella? Neither can I._

Then she squirmed partially out of her seat belt and twisted around again, turning into some contorted fetal position.

And now she was facing my cock. My thickening-by-the-second, ready-to-burst-forth-like-a-leak-in-the-Hoover-Dam, pants-ripping-like-it-was-the-Incredible-Hulk cock.

I tried to push her face back. No really, I did! But with every movement I made in order to push her away, she'd just nuzzle a little bit closer, til her lips were once again pressed into the cloth of my pants. I contemplated tugging at her hair, maybe tying it around my wrist so that it acted as a leash, but that reenacted a burgeoning fantasy from some of my "me-time" activities, so I opted to just leave her be and pray I didn't jizz in her hair like a horny schoolboy.

We inched further up the road until finally the traffic cleared and I sent up a little prayer of thanks, as we headed down the side streets to Bella's house.


	4. Chapter 4

We pulled into Bella's driveway and sat there for a few moments, her face pressed tightly against my scrotum. There was a part of me that wanted to sit there like this forever. The more rational part knew that we needed to get into the house.

I nudged her shoulder. "Bella?"

"Mmmmmmmm..." she moaned into my pants.

"Mmmmmmm..." I replied as the moan sent good vibrations into every nerve ending in my appendage.

_Breathe in...breathe out...try not to jizz in your underpants._

"Bella," I called to her in a singsong voice, nudging again. "You need to wake up now. We're home."

"Mmmmmmm...don' wanna...wanna stay herrrrrrre."

_Oh sweetheart, I'm right there with you._

"I know, honey, but we need to get up and go in the house. I'm sure your bed, or the couch, is more comfortable. Don't you agree?"

_Yep, I just called her honey. You caught that too?_

Finally, at long last, she raised herself up from my lap, wiping the drool that had pooled at the corner of her mouth...and all over my pants. Great, now I look like I pissed myself.

"Lessss goooooo!" she ordered, pointing towards the house like a general leading their army.

I stepped out of my car and started to head up the sidewalk, but hesitated when I didn't hear the car door open or shut. That's because Bella was still trying to maneuver herself out of the seat belt, apparently.

I walked around the side of the car and opened her door.

"Need a little help?"

Her lip stuck out in that pout I'd grown to love and she whimpered. It was so adorable when she did that. _Shuddup, so I have a mangina._ I reached around and clicked open the latch of the seat belt and untangled it from her body. And then, like some sort of magician, she'd stood up and had already entangled herself around me. Houdini had nothing on this girl.

"Let's get you in that house, okay?"

She saluted me.

When we got to the door, I dug through her purse to find the house key. Wallet, cell phone, tampon..._get a little wigged out_...pen, pack of gum..._dear lord, what DOESN'T she have in this thing_?...nail clippers, tweezers, eyeliner, mascara...keys?...nope, lip gloss, Swiss army knife...KEYS! I mentally praised myself and inserted the key into the lock and pushed the door open.

Her home was very cozy. She had some overstuffed beige chairs and a matching sofa, with colorful puffy quilts adorning the backs of each of them. The house had a musky berry scent to it, which appeared to be coming from the unlit oil burner on the counter of her kitchen. Overall, it was very welcoming and made me want to curl up and relax.

This wasn't about me, however, so I got to putting away her purse, sitting it on the counter, because I had no clue what to do with it (and after touching that unopened tampon, I was still a little freaked out). Bella wandered into the kitchen, opening and shutting cabinets and cupboards, then peeking in the freezer and refrigerator.

"Scoooooore!" she announced proudly, producing a long white package and skipping sluggishly into the living room, seemingly forgetting I was there.

I followed blindly into the living room and tucked myself into the corner of her sofa, while she sat in her chair and attempted to open whatever was in that package.

I wished I had been in the habit of eating the confection she was currently wrestling open, because when she finally got it, I wanted to beg her to throw it away...give it to the neighbor's dog...anything. Just...anything!

Bella produced the cherry red popsicle and popped it directly into her mouth.

Well, it was less like popping it in her mouth and more like sliding it across her tongue til it hit the back of her throat, then suctioning her lips tightly around the base, and then slowly-ever so slowly-drawing it back out, ending with a decidedly loud "pop".

"Mmmmmmm," she moaned in satisfaction, nearly crossing her eyes to look at the popsicle.

Over and over again, she fellated that popsicle, til it was no more than a stub of melting goop clinging to a stick. In the meantime, I pondered what sort of evil things I'd possibly done in my life that warranted the gods to tempt and tease me in such a delicious manner.

"Mmmmmmm," I answered, readjusting my cock for the umpteenth time that afternoon.

Bella's eyes flicked up to meet mine.

"Like what you see, big boy?"

_Oh shit...abort! Abort!_

That crazy look gleamed in her eyes and I was honestly fearful for my genitalia!

I swallowed heavily as she put the stick down on the edge of the coffee table and sidled up next to me, placing her freezing cherry lips firmly against my neck.

"Ngggh" I think I uttered. I'm not really sure. Blood flow to the brain was swiftly becoming a problem again. I wasn't even thinking about how that sticky popsicle stick was going to ruin the finish of the table. Nope, not at all.

"Mmmmmm...you tayse like cherrieeeees."

Some sort of squeaking noise came from my throat as I tried to reign in a coherent thought. Just one coherent thought was all I needed. But before I could form one, her lips were on mine and she was straddling me and thrusting her tongue in my mouth and trying to suck my tongue in her mouth and oh god I was going to die of bliss!

Her hips swayed over my aching dick and in that moment I had a pinprick of clarity. Just enough clarity to realize that she was still partially medicated and I needed to stop this before we both did something we truly regretted. Well, maybe not me, but definitely her. Wasn't I Mr. Virtuous? Go me.

My hands wrapped around her upper arms and I managed to break the suction of her mouth from mine. She got this sly little smile, like she had more tricks up her sleeve, but my resolve was returning-albeit slow as a snail.

"Hey, as much as I love this, we can't do this right now."

There came the pouty lip.

"But whyyyyyy?"

I can do this. I CAN do this!

"Because you're still pretty sleepy and I need you fully awake to do this. Okay?"

The lip jutted out further.

"Okayyyyyyy," she reluctantly agreed. Wow, that was pretty easy. Maybe the meds were almost out of her system? One could only hope.

Climbing off my lap, she readjusted the scrubs and sat back down next to me, pressed into my side. I wanted to ask her if she wanted to change into something more comfortable and less tight, but that just seemed like a can of worms that I wasn't willing or able to handle opening again.

"Mmmmmmm...this is niiiiiiice," she cooed, pressing her arm into my bicep and stroking it with her free hand.

"It is, isn't it?" I smiled down at her, leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss into her hair.

I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, keeping the volume soft. Bella hummed in satisfaction, nuzzling against my arm a little more, then promptly fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The thing about Bella is that she's a restless sleeper.

Restless, that is, until you're touching or stroking her. And before you start judging me, I meant stroking her hair, her cheek, or touching her arms or hands.

Perverts.

Anyway...

She started out laying against my bicep, with her feet dangling off of the couch, while some entertainment news show played quietly in the background. At the first commercial, she had somehow burrowed her face into my side and curled her legs up on the couch. By the second commercial, she had gone a bit fetal and snuggled into my kneecaps, which couldn't have been comfortable at all. Before the next show started, she was sprawled out on her stomach with her face buried in the cushion next to my thigh.

I started stroking her hair and she stayed like that until the second show ended a half hour later. My arm started getting tired from the movement and it pained me to stop my fingers combing through her tresses.

And then she started moving again.

Bella, being who she is, curled back up into my lap with her face buried near my crotch. I swear that her mouth was a magnet and it was undeniably attracted to my zipper...or the iron rod in my pants, commonly known as my penis.

I'm not gonna lie, I was a bit ungentlemanly. I stroked her cheek with gentle caresses while she laid there breathing her hot breath over my zipper, igniting a fire that couldn't be quenched in my loins. I wasn't moving her for all the money in the world. This was where she was meant to be.

She felt so good, warming my lap and curling into me, that I found my fingers tracing smaller patterns on her cheek until I was drifting off into a restful slumber myself.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed, until I felt stirring around me.

"Mmmmmm," Bella groaned, stretching and yawning into my side.

I let out a little moan of my own. Whether it was from being awakened, or the slightly erotic dream I was having about the woman in my lap, I couldn't be sure.

"Mmmmmm...mmmmmmmmm...Oh!" she startled, suddenly popping up into a seated position.

My blurry eyes blinked awake as I watched Bella scramble to the other side of the couch, drawing her knees up to her chest. I looked over at the clock to see that over two hours had passed and it was nearing bedtime.

"Mmmmm...morning-er, I guess evening?" I smiled at her, sleepily.

She looked at me suspiciously.

"H-how did I end up in your lap?"

Sleep was still tugging at my brain, begging me to snuggle back down and drift off to Dreamland.

"Huh?"

"Your lap. I was laying in it. How did that happen?" Bella pleaded, looking a bit scared at what I might reveal.

"Oh, that. Um..."

"It was the sedation, wasn't it? I get REALLY cuddly when that happens. I am SOOOOO sorry!"

"Um...no problem. You looked really comfy, so I didn't want to move you," I chuckled, watching her face blush a hot red. "Besides, you were like my own personal heating blanket, so I'm not going to lie. I totally took advantage."

Bella blushed even further, but teased right back. "Oh, well...then you should be ashamed of yourself, shouldn't you?"

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Probably, but you're very toasty. Sorry, that was really unprofessional of me to say. You probably want to sue me for sexual harassment or something now, don't you?"

She let out a giggle. "Well, seeing that you're the only dentist that doesn't make me run screaming from your office in a blind panic, I think I'll overlook this one indiscretion."

Was she flirting with me?

"Thanks," I answered, a bit relieved and maybe a little turned on. "So you should probably eat something, so you won't start feeling nauseous. What do you say to some food?"

She bit her bottom lip and looked up at me through her eyelashes. _Yep, definitely flirting._

"Yeah, that sounds good. I'll see what I can whip up!"

With that, she bounced up off the couch and jogged into the kitchen, almost a little too eagerly. I followed closely behind, grabbing her wrist as she tried to sift through her cupboards.

"No, you don't have to cook anything for me. I'll treat."

Bella looked up at me with quizzical eyes.

"After all, it's the least I could do for the sexual harassment, right?"

"Most definitely," she answered, giving me a playful punch in the arm.

"So, before I went to sleep, I had figured I'd take the opportunity while you slept to show off my mad cooking skills."

Bella eyed me skeptically. "Oh? So where is my five-course meal, Dr. Cullen?"

Don't ask me why, but having her call me Dr. Cullen had my brain welling up with fantasy after fantasy. Doctor/patient, naughty nurse, you name it.

"Well, when I realized I can't cook to save my life, I figured I'd show off my mad takeout ordering skills instead."

She laughed and threw a pile of takeout menus at me. They say the way to a woman's heart is to make her laugh, so I fully intended to have her in stitches all evening.

"Have you had Saylor's pizza?" I asked after sifting through shitty takeout menu after shitty takeout menu. I was desperately hoping that she'd never had the experience, because I wanted to be her first-to introduce her to the awesome pizza, of course.

"Um, no. Never heard of it."

Dramatically clutching my chest in shock, I audibly gasped and pretended to swoon.

"How can you live here as long as you have and NEVER had a Saylor's pizza?" I exclaimed, completely flabbergasted. "Matter of fact, how could Alice have been so neglectful?"

"I take it this pizza is good?"

"Bella," I reached out and grasped her face in both hands, looking deeply into her eyes with complete seriousness, "let me put it this way: This pizza is so amazing, so succulent in all it's splendor, that it will make your toes curl in a never-ending foodgasm."

A few breaths passed between the small space between our faces. I pondered closing the distance with my lips, but decided to taunt her with delicious torture. Hadn't I just endured hours of her temptations? It was payback time.

"So, you're saying I'll probably like it?" she teased, breaking me out of my reverie.

"I'd stake my manhood and all that I hold holy and dear to me."

"Damn," she whispered, so close to my lips, yet so very, very far.

I couldn't wait until she tasted the pizza.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh. My. GAWD!" she exclaimed, practically inhaling her slice of pizza. "What kind of pizza IS this? Because I'm totally buying this every day for the rest of my life."

"Told ya," I replied with a satisfied smirk. "Saylor's Chicken Bacon Ranch pizza is the be all and end all of pizzas, hands down."

"Seriously, Edward. You didn't do this pizza justice when you described it. I not only had a foodgasm, but I think I may have drenched my panties!"

I managed to do the right thing and choke on my pizza. You can't just make a statement like that and expect me not to, can you? Besides, it got Bella to touch me because she had to pound me on my back to make sure I didn't die or something.

"Glad you liked it," I rasped out.

We ate the rest of our dinner in silence.

No, wait, that was what I was hoping would happen, because I didn't think my poor expanding dick could take much more pressure. Instead, the conversation continued.

"So, Dr. Cullen, I didn't do anything TOO embarrassing while I was out of it, did I?"

I tried not to lie, but my smirk betrayed me and gave it away. Stupid twitchy lips. Great, now I was thinking of twitchy lips. Twitchy lips on Bella. And I wasn't talking about her facial lips. Wink Wink. Nudge Nudge. _What? I'm a guy! I might even burst out saying BOOBS once or twice. It's my story, dammit._

"Oh my gawd," Bella blushed, burying her face in her hands.

"It wasn't THAT bad, Bella," I soothingly reassured. She wasn't buying it.

"Edward, you're one thing, but a good liar isn't it," she reprimanded, crossing her arms over that pink scrub top that was two sizes too small.

"Well, it was...entertaining," I evaded.

"Alice will never tell me. What do I say or do that's so entertaining?"

Do I tell her? Do I risk her never coming back to me again if I do? Do I tell her only half the truth and hope she fills in the blanks in a more favorable way? I decided to go with the latter.

"Well, you like to talk a lot, for starters."

There, that wasn't too bad.

"Really? What do I talk about?" she prodded.

Crap, she wanted details.

"Um...I guess usually you talk about whatever is nearest to your face?"

I am the King of Evasive Answers. Dr. Cullen for the win!

My victory was short lived, as I watched her eyes drift down to my crotch. Yep, she knew exactly what was near her face when she was in that chair.

"You know, I probably don't even want to know," she quickly amended.

Just as I started to breathe freer and considered changing topics, she continued.

"So, what do I DO when I'm out of it?"

_Abort! Abort! Danger Will Robinson!_

I coughed, hoping to delay my response and come up with something diplomatic, but the anaconda in my pants was ready to strike, it's fangs dripping with venom. And yes, I just referred to my penis as an anaconda. No ego there, eh?

"Well...I guess...sometimes...yougetalittlefriendly."

Rushing your words makes the conversation end quicker right? RIGHT?

"Friendly?" Crap, she was paying attention. "Friendly how?"

Her eyebrow had magical powers of making people confess, I was sure of it! It raised up on one side and practically demanded the truth!

I coughed nervously, "Well...like...friendly...like..."

"Oh my GAWD! I flirted with you didn't I? Oh noooooo! I want to DIEEEE!"

Yep, I think I was going to witness my first death from embarrassment.

"Bella..."

She scooted further away, burying her face in her hands, chanting "oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" over and over again.

I scooted closer.

"Bella...really, it wasn't THAT bad!"

"Not that bad? Edward, have you seen your face? I think it's about ten shades of pink because you're so embarrassed! You can't even SAY it! Ugh! I'm going to have to find a new dentist now, I can't ever look you in the eyes again. ARRRRGGGH!"

With that, she grabbed a throw pillow and covered her head in shame.

"Bella," I started again, scooting closer to her and gently grasping her wrists, to pull her hands away from the pillow smothering her face. "Really, you only got a little tiny bit flirty. It's no big deal. Medication makes you do strange things. It's actually very common. You can Google it."

For a brief second, her glistening eyes met my gaze and held it. Shit, I couldn't handle crying girls.

"Edward, that does NOT help me feel ANY better right now. You have to know that, right?"

"Eh, I gave it a shot."

We both started laughing a little bit.

"Really, Bella. It was no big deal. I'm nothing but a professional and I made sure you fully behaved yourself the entire time. Scouts honor!"

Bella looked at my raised hand and squinted a bit.

"Were you even a Boy Scout?"

"Actually I was, so there!" _It's mature to stick your tongue out at another adult, right? _

She ran her fingers through her hair and took a calming breath, letting it out slowly.

"It really wasn't that bad?"

I placed my hand on top of hers in assurance (and because I really wanted to touch her again).

"No Bella, it wasn't that bad."

Bella let out another breath of relief.

"Oh good."

I was just about to open my mouth to suggest maybe grabbing some dessert as well, when Bella finally looked down at herself for the first time and I felt myself have a minor panic attack.

"Um, Edward?"

"Yes Bella," I answered with the straightest face I could muster.

"Where are my clothes?"


	7. Chapter 7

"Um..." I attempted to stall. And failed.

Eyes as big as saucers, she stared me down, pleading with me to spare her the ultimate embarrassment.

"The thing is..."

"I got naked?" she shrieked, fists balled at her sides.

"Well, not exact-" She cut me off.

Her voice was eerily calm and collected, "Did I do it in front of you?"

My throat involuntarily cleared. My face burned hot like the Sahara.

"N-no! Of course not!" I lied.

"Oh my GAWD! I undressed in front of you? You saw?"

"Well, only a litt-"

"You SAW!"

"I only-"

"You saw my goodies, dressed me up in these godawful pink scrubs that are giving me a screaming case of camel toe, and you just...failed to mention it?"

To my credit, I'm a man and testosterone plays a huge role in your level of maturity, at least that's the angle I'm going to play right now. Or maybe it was past my bedtime, and maybe I was suffering a little PTSD from dealing with a naked, flirty Bella for half the evening, and maybe it had driven me over the edge of insanity, because at that moment, I started laughing. A full-hearted belly laugh, complete with tears streaming down my face and the occasional snort from lack of air.

Bella glared at me with daggers shooting from her eyes. If looks could have killed, I would have been flayed alive and set on fire, whilst syrup was poured on my genitals and fire ants were released to clean it up.

"I can't believe you're laughing! What's so damned funny about this?"

I couldn't catch my breath between guffawing.

"You...you...camel...and the...oh god...too...much!" I gasped out, clutching my middle and rolling to the side.

"Edward."

"Tee...teeheehee...ahahahahahahaha!"

Yep, I'd gone pretty much insane.

"Edward."

I worked diligently to stifle the grin, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth and biting on it as hard as I could.

And failed as I snorted and chuckled my way into another fit of laughter.

She stood, seeming to tower over me with her tiny frame, hands on her hips with indignation.

"Edward!" she shouted.

Sighing loudly and looking towards her with a slight roll of my eyes, I realized too late just how pissed she was.

"Sorry, Bella." I managed to look contrite. "It's just been a really long, rough day."

"Oh, I'll bet it has. I bet it's just been absolutely horrible for you, what with me being naked and all, probably begging for your hot body or something equally embarrassing. I could have your license, you know."

And then, something inside of me snapped and I felt...kinda pissed off.

"Oh really? REALLY? We're going to play THAT card?"

Her chin stuck up at me in defiance. "Yes I am! I can't believe you'd take advantage of a girl who's obviously not in her right mind at the time!"

"Oh yes, Bella," I continued, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I was on a roll right now. I was probably going to say something I seriously regretted, but once the stick of dynamite has been ignited, you've got to expect it to blow!

"I've spent ALL these years and years going to school to become one of the best, most respected dentists in the area, only to piss it all away by groping and sexing up some hot patient of mine, thereby leaving me open to a rape charge, assault, and God knows what else! Not to mention, completely ruin my relationship with my sister, who just happens to be my prey's best friend!"

I threw my hands up in exasperation and got up to leave. I didn't have to take this shit, no matter how attractive this person was.

Gathering up my jacket, my wallet and my keys, I stalked to the front door and opened it with a bit more force than was necessary, knocking the door into the plaster and causing a dent to crease the wall.

"Wait! Edward!"

Fuck this. I wasn't going to listen to another word. _Don't turn around. Don't turn around._

My fingers shook as it fumbled for the key fob and struggled to press the unlocking mechanism.

Her hands snaked across mine, curling around the keys.

"Edward," she calmly implored, "wait."

I blew out a breath very slowly and turned to face her.

"What?" I asked, waiting for her tirade to resume, or possibly for a knee to the crotch. I tried to angle myself in such a way so I could still look at her and still protect my balls.

"You think I'm hot?"

Wait, what?


	8. Chapter 8

This girl's mood swings were giving me whiplash.

"I just go on a mile long rant and all you worry about is if I think you're hot?"

Bella's eyes moved everywhere but in my direction.

"Um...I guess I do."

"Bella, you're going to be the death of me."

She waited, like she was expecting something else.

"What?" I asked, getting slightly freaked out.

"You never answered my question."

"Yeah? Well, you hurt my feelings." I pouted out my lip, hoping to garner some sympathy, and maybe putting off my confession of my feelings toward her, because it could really go one of two ways: Total success, or a knee in the groin. Obviously, I was hoping for the first option.

Bella's voice dropped down to a whisper. "Do I have to beg?"

I remained tight-lipped, but my resistance was wavering. That could be partially due to the fact that she hadn't yet let go of my hands that were grasping the keys. And those fingers were also squeezing mine with a rhythmic tightening and loosening that was driving my control to the brink. Yeah, I think it was safe to say she returned my feelings.

"Please?" she whispered again, this time invading my space, right next to the stubble on my cheek.

My jaw flexed in restraint, but her warm breath wafted lower as she brought her mouth just a hair's breadth away from my jugular, tickling the sensitive nerves that seemed specially tuned only to her.

"Please?" she pleaded one last time.

My nostrils flared as the scent of her hair filled them and I could no longer keep a rein on my precarious control any longer. Dipping down and grasping her face in my hands, I seared my mouth to hers, melding our mouths together in a passionate tango of lips, tongues and teeth. I took first her top lip, then the bottom between my own and moaned against them, feeling the vibrations reverberate against the softness of her mouth. She moaned in response and deepened the kiss, capturing my tongue with hers-a lasso that drew me into her mouth and invited me to explore.

_I don't need air! I don't need air!_

We were so entangled in each other's kiss that it was getting hard to breathe, but I felt myself wanting to crawl inside her and wear her skin. Not in the creepy Silence of the Lambs way though, just so we're clear. I was wishing upon stars and unicorns that I didn't have that silly need for oxygen, because that would mean breaking the kiss and I thought I might die if I ever had to stop or pull back.

Alas, the dizziness I started to feel - and not from the headiness of romance, but instead from lack of air - pushed me to pull back and break the kiss.

"Wow," Bella exclaimed after composing herself.

"Hmmmm..." was all I could manage. I was still attempting to bring oxygen back to my brain.

"That was..."

"Amazing?" I offered, trying very hard not to break my arm while patting myself on the back._ Atta boy!_

"Ummmm..." was not the response I expected.

"What?" Did she not like it? Did I suck? I hadn't popped a mint or anything beforehand and I'm sure I had Chicken Bacon Ranch Pizza breath. _Noooooooooo_, I silently shouted to the heavens.

"You still didn't tell me if you thought I was hot."

My eyebrow raised quizzically at her. "You really have to ask after that?"

"Well, anyone can seductively inhale a person's face to the point of incoherency. Doesn't mean anything," she smirked.

"You're really not going to let this go, are you?" I challenged.

"Nope."

Spinning my keys around my finger and opening my car door, I made it halfway into my car, then replied, "Well, then I hope you're ready for disappointment."

My face nearly impassive, I raised my eyebrow in defiance. _See how YOU like getting teased, little girl_.

Little girl was fierce when she was pissed, let me tell you this much. She stalked closer to me, reminding me of a lion pacing in front of its prey.

"So we're gonna play it that way, are we Dr. Cullen?" She folded her arms over her chest, daring me to follow through on this supposed threat.

"Play what, Bella?" I had the decency to blink innocently.

We stared each other down, daring the other to admit their feelings first.

"Will you tell me the truth, Edward?" I didn't like the tone of her voice. It had this icy, scary edge to it, with just a hint of gleeful malice that made my blood run cold. She stepped even closer to me, daring me to take her again.

"What if I didn't want to tell you? What if I lied?"

"I know you wouldn't hurt me like that, _Edward_," she stepped closer and poked my chest. Her lips were so close that it took all my control to not grab her and take her right there against car door, in front of all the neighbors and whatever deity was looking down on us from above.

"Bella, I think you might still be medicated. You might still be confused."

Her eyes narrowed at me, "I know what I felt. Don't tell me you didn't feel it too."

And then I couldn't hold back any longer. I spun her around so her body was backed up against my car door and I molded myself to her, letting her feel the evidence of my arousal pressed hotly into her hip as my lips attacked her mouth once more. I'd never given much thought as to how I would die, but death by a dry-humping orgasm while you kissed your occasionally-flirty-when-medicated patient seemed like a good way to go.


	9. Chapter 9

I COULD tell you that what happened next is that I scooped Bella up in my arms and took her into the house and made sweet, sweet love to her.

I COULD tell you that this didn't really happen and instead I took her against the wall, slipping in and out of her over and over again and bringing her to a fantastical climax like none the universe has ever witnessed.

I COULD tell you that after we napped a bit, I recovered my erection and we made love again.

I COULD tell you that I did every single debauched thing I had in my detailed journal titled: Fantasies With Bella.

Instead, I realized that it was way past both of our bedtimes and I needed to do the right thing and say goodnight. I also realized that it wasn't particularly gentlemanly of me to sex up the girl I've been crushing on for over a year on the first date-especially when it wasn't exactly a date.

So with a heavy heart and a defeated sigh, I slowed my urgent kisses.

"I should probably get going," my voice rasped in her ear.

Bella groaned in disappointment, "Don't go. Please? Just...stay."

Chuckling in her ear, I reminded her that this was not technically a date and that if she wanted me to stay, we would could do so at a later time when we made things more official.

"So, would you like to see me again, Bella? Even though I saw you naked while you were high and flirting with me?"

Her head nuzzled into that sensitive spot between my shoulder and my ear and she giggled against my skin, making me pull her a little more to myself.

"Mmmmm...don't remind me," she sleepily replied and squeezed her arms around my neck a little tighter.

I wrapped my arms snugly around her back and pulled her even closer to me one last time, reveling in her warmth.

"Do you want me to call you?"

She hummed and nodded her head against my neck in response, sending delicious vibrations in the most wonderful places. If we kept going like this, I may never leave.

I kissed her lips once more, then her nose, then her eyelids, and finally her forehead.

"Okay, I've got to go. Have a good evening, Bella."

"You too," she answered, punctuating her goodbye with one last lingering kiss.

As I pulled out of the driveway, she remained where she stood, waving with a dazed grin painting her face. Admittedly, the same grin painted mine as well. I couldn't believe that after all this time of pining over her in secret, we'd finally acknowledged some sort of feelings towards each other and I finally had the green light to ask her out for real. If it wouldn't have looked completely weird, I might have given myself a hug and twirled around in the middle of the road. But I'm a dude and I wish to keep my man card, so I decided against it.

When I pulled into my own parking lot, I just sat in my space and replayed the evening over and over again in my head. It had started off so wrong that I never had anticipated that it would end in some toe-curling kisses and promises of more.

My phone started buzzing and I thought that maybe Bella was calling to thank me again for such a great evening, but upon inspecting my caller ID, I realized it wasn't to be. Instead, Alice's face popped upon the screen and I reluctantly answered.

"How was your evening, Edward?" my sister inquired in a chipper voice. Way too chipper for someone who was so sick that she couldn't make it into work, as a matter of fact.

"It was fine Alice, how are YOU doing?" No way this wasn't a set-up. I wasn't going to complain though. It finally brought Bella and I together. No complaints at all.

"Oh, you know," she sighed, trying to sound a bit sicker now.

"Nice try, Alice. I know you're not sick. Good effort though."

She sighed loudly, "Okay, busted."

I knew it!

"Mind telling me what you were trying to do today?" As if I didn't already know.

"Edward, someone had to intervene. It was painful watching you moon over Bella every time I saw you. I just gave fate a little...push."

"I see..."

"So?" she pushed, "How did it go?"

"Well..." I began.

An ear-piercing squeal assaulted my ears. "I knew it! Tell me EVERYTHING!"

"Whoa, slow your role there, Sis. I'm not telling you anything."

"That steamy, eh?" Alice joked, snorting in the receiver.

"Ha Ha, Alice. Very funny. And no, it didn't get _that _steamy." The less she knew, the better.

"Oh, so it DID get a little steamy then?"

"Alice..." I complained.

"Okay, okay, I won't bug you about it. But, at least tell me if it worked out well."

I'd concede that much to her, otherwise I might never shake the little midget.

"Okay, fine, yes it worked out well."

Another squeal nearly burst my eardrum.

And now that I was deaf, I was going to let her go and finally get some sleep.

"Now that you have all the dirt, I'm going to bed. Good night Alice."

"Night lover boy..." she teased.

I hung up the phone and flopped down on the couch, turning the TV on low for some background noise. Tonight's events played over and over in my head and I couldn't help but smile.

I thought I'd be wired a bit longer, what with all the excitement of the day, but instead my head sunk back into the cushions and soon I was fast asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up with the mother of all kinks in my neck. _Note to self: Never fall sleep all night on the couch. Amended note to self: Buy new couch that is more comfy. _

Stretching in every direction I could make my body bend, most of the kinks eventually worked their way out of my body. It didn't matter how much pain I was in, because I was still on an I-Kissed-Bella high! Just the imaginings of her kneading my sore neck muscles was enough to get my inner motor revved up and ready to go, although I still planned to make a pot of coffee. _See, not one mention of my raging morning wood. I figured that was a given._

Saturdays were the best days, because I could putz around the house, mowing my yard and cleaning my house inside and out, followed by cleaning out my car. Contrary to popular belief, not all bachelors are slobs! To be fair, if it didn't meet Alice's Code of Cleanliness, she'd just go behind me and redo it, so I may as well get it right the first time and avoid having her go through my private things as she decluttered. And she was quite the snoop, as much as she was a meddler.

I'd just finished mowing my front yard and was about to start on the back, when I became inhumanly thirsty. I stepped inside the house and rooted around in my fridge for something cool and refreshing, yet satisfying to my taste buds. Red Raspberry Lemonade it is!

The liquid felt cool and tantalizing on my tongue. Not as tantalizing as other things that had been on my tongue, but it worked for now. I chugged the contents of the glass and had just set the glass on the counter when the phone rang. Now what did Alice want?

"What have you called to pester me about now, you little meddler?" I teased.

"Um, Edward?" Shit, this wasn't Alice.

"Yeah?" Why was Bella calling me from Alice's phone?

"Um, I was just wondering when I could pick up my clothes from you," she whispered into the phone, probably so Alice wouldn't start riding her about that little indiscretion. Oh crap. What HAD I done with her clothes?

"Oh, um...well...I think I left them in a bag in my office. Can I bring them to you sometime?"

I swear Bella's voice dropped into a sexier tone, "Anytime you want, Edward."

"Cool," I tried to keep myself calm, not trying to look overeager-even though I totally was. "Do you want me to clean them first? They did get a bit stained up."

"No, that's fine. I can clean it myself. I can look over it and see if it's too ruined to bother with. Maybe if they're ruined I can use it as an excuse to go shopping for myself?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, I'm sure Alice would love that. You two are quite the fearsome twosome when it comes to clearance shopping, from what Alice tells me."

"Oh my gosh, you have NO idea! Though I can give Alice a run for her money. Alice may find more items, but I like to get more bang for my buck."

And now all I could think about was banging...

Shifting the conversation out of Pervert-ville, I decided to wrap it up. "I'm sure. Well, I'll run to the office this afternoon and pick it up. Maybe drop it off tomorrow morning if you're not busy?"

"Sure, that'd be great, Edward."

"Good."

"Oh, and Edward?"

Uh oh, what did she want now?

"Don't eat anything before you come over. I'm repaying you with breakfast."

"That's really unnecessary," I replied, hoping I didn't come off as ungrateful. "I'd be just as happy standing on your front porch, if it meant seeing you again."

Wow, that was really sappy.

Apparently Bella thought so too, but in a good way. "Aw, that's so sweet! Well, I'm making you breakfast anyway, so don't argue and be here by 11 a.m."

Bossy little woman. I loved it.

"11 a.m.? Wouldn't that be considered lunchtime for some?" I teased. Might need a granola bar when I wake up.

"Ha Ha. I happen to like sleeping in and this is my one day to do just that."

"Alright then," I laughed, saying one last goodbye.

Our conversation had been effortless and I was enjoying the easy banter and fun chiding we gave each other.

I was in such a good mood that cleaning my house was like a breeze and my house and yard soon looked like something out of a home and garden magazine. I swear I thought I saw squirrels and bluebirds helping with the housework, I was that damned giddy.

Nothing could stop me now. I was a man in love.


	11. Chapter 11

Sunday morning dawned bright and early. Bluebirds sang and butterflies flitted over the springtime flowers in my garden. I hummed a merry tune as I peeked out my bathroom window while I brushed my teeth. If I was going to get some more Bella kissing action, I needed to be minty fresh.

I flossed and flashed a million dollar smile at the mirror, pointed at myself and exclaimed, "You're a winner!" It's my bathroom and I can do whatever I want when nobody's looking.

I hopped in the shower and scrubbed all my nooks and crannies, not taking the time for a morning wank, because the sooner I got out of that shower, the sooner I got to see Bella. I marveled at my own restraint. Grabbing a razor, I shaved my face down to a smooth finish, because I'm considerate like that. No woman wants whisker burn all over their face after a lengthy make-out session. And yes, I may have been feeling a bit over-confident.

After getting buffed and polished and splashing a few drops of musky cologne on my body, I slipped into my dark denim jeans, comfy tennies, and black short-sleeved v-neck t-shirt and headed out the door. I left my hair slicked back and figured the breeze would do its magic on my unruly mane. Why fight it?

Looking in my garage, I debated whether I should take the car or the motorcycle. Some ladies were impressed by the purr of a motorcycle, others were scared to death that you'd splatter your brains all over the highway. I decided to err on the side of caution and take the car. Also, I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard to impress her. There is such a thing as overkill.

On the way to Bella's, I stopped by a roadside stand that was selling flowers. These were so much better than store bought flowers, because they were freshly picked that morning. The fragrant blooms scented my car and I couldn't wait to present her with the bouquet. It may have seemed cheesy, but I think simplicity is best. Girls loved flowers. I didn't know one who didn't. Unless they were allergic, of course. Oh crap, I hoped she wasn't allergic! _Deep breaths, Edward. Deep, calming breaths._

At 11 a.m. on the dot, I walked up to Bella's front step and rang the doorbell.

Bella opened the door and I stood there with my mouth hanging open, dumbfounded. How could she have just woken up and look this stunning? Her hair was pulled up into a high and messy ponytail. She had a tiny bit of makeup on. I could tell because her lips weren't that glossy the last time I saw them...and tasted them. She wore a bright green and white snug-fitting concert tee that said "Kiss Me, I'm Punk" and a pair of white capri pants. Her feet were bare and I noticed her toenails were painted a vibrant purple. Interesting, Miss Corporate Office has an inner punk princess yearning to breathe free.

"Hi," I managed to croak out, in spite of my ogling.

"Hey Edward, come on in!" she smiled at me with a wide grin. I could smell maple syrup and warm blueberry pancakes as we entered the kitchen. My mouth watered to the point that I was afraid I was going to drool. I just wasn't sure if the drooling was because of the food or because of Bella. Probably both.

"I got these for you," I sheepishly offered, pulling the bouquet of flowers from behind my back and thrusting them at her.

She gasped as she took them from me, "Wow! They're beautiful! These smell SO good! Thank you!" Her nose dipped into the blooms and she inhaled deeply. Not allergic, then.

"I got you something else," I reminded her and handed her the plastic bag I had in the other hand.

"Oh, Edward you shouldn't have!" she teased, taking the bag of soiled clothing that I had brought from the office to the laundry area by the back door. "Go ahead and have a seat. Breakfast is nearly ready!"

It was fun to watch her get all excited about cooking. "I never get to use these serving plates for anything, so it's kind of nice to be able to use them for once!"

"What, no dinner parties every weekend?" I teased.

She laughed, "Sadly, no. The only friend I have, since I moved here, is your sister and if I cook she always insists on bringing something to go with it."

"I feel your pain," I acknowledged as I helped her bring the food to the dining table.

I knew what she was hinting at. My sister is the world's worst cook. If the Guinness Book of World Records could have a category for her, she'd hold the record. And no, I wasn't exaggerating in the least. She was also quite delusional about her cooking ability. In her mind, she was a culinary genius. Her boyfriend, Jasper, wouldn't tell her for all the money in the world that her food sucked. The boy had serious loyalty to my sister, or seriously dead taste buds. I wasn't sure which.

"So I hope you enjoy this," she replied with a smile, "and that I haven't kidded myself with my cooking skills."

I plated up a stack of pancakes and smothered it in warm syrup and Bella placed a few strips of bacon on the side. "Bella, if the smell is any indication, I'm sure it'll be delicious."

Cutting into the fluffy pancake with my fork, I speared it and swirled it in the warm maple syrup and placed it in my mouth. And then I held it there. I neither chewed, nor swallowed. I just left it there, marinating on my tongue.

"Sweet mother of..." I closed my eyes and let this heavenly confection melt over my taste buds and seep into my gums.

"Is it that bad?" Bella questioned, looking defeated.

Swallowing the pancake, I got up and put my napkin on my chair, then walked over to Bella and knelt in front of her. Grasping her face in my hands, she looked down at me with wide eyes.

"Marry me, Bella," my eyes bored into her, accentuating my point. "Marry me and make me these pancakes for me for the rest of my days. If you think I'm kidding, I will go out today and buy you a ring. Just promise me you will make these pancakes for me for the rest of my life on this earth."

She looked at me, dazed with lust-filled eyes. Slowly, her hands reached up and twined around my hands, bringing them off her face and down into her lap. Her stare was burning a hole into my eyes as she gradually brought her face closer to mine. Our eyes unlocked as she continued her languid path past my cheek, brushing her sweet and sticky lips along the corner of my mouth on the way, and dragging it across my cheek, settling them against my ear.

Whispering so softly that I could barely hear, she replied, "If you play your cards right, that just might happen someday."

Then she placed a feathery kiss on my earlobe and pulled away, leaving me sitting there gaping at her while she turned around and nonchalantly dug into her breakfast.

"It's getting cold, Edward. You better start eating," she replied, as if nothing had ever happened.

Mechanically, I got up and plopped down into the chair, scooping fork full after fork full of my breakfast into my mouth. Had I just proposed marriage to her? My god, what was I thinking? And over pancakes, no less? I couldn't worry myself about that right now, because of the food boner I was sporting. Seriously, if she was as good in bed as she was with her kissing and cooking, I saw many happy years ahead for us.


	12. Chapter 12

"You certainly like your food, don't you?" Bella asked, eying me carefully. I was going to have to play this very cool, since I was acting like a complete psychopath right now.

"Well, they say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? I'm merely confirming the theory," I smiled back at her, trying to convey some sort of confidence and praying she wouldn't kick me out before we ever got this date underway.

"Maybe you can confirm a few other...theories," she added, eying my fork. At least, I think she was looking at my fork.

I speared another chunk of pancake. "And?"

As I chewed the next forkful, she continued, "And, I was wondering if it's true what they say about men and the length of their fingers in relation to the size of their penis."

And now my pancake was spewing from my mouth, across the table. Classy. I was going to try my damnedest to ignore the little piece that stuck to her left breast.

_Do not stare at the boobs. Do NOT stare at the..._

Then Bella had the audacity to laugh at me as I coughed and sputtered, sipping at my orange juice in an attempt to dislodge anything I'd inhaled.

"You're too easy, Edward," she giggled and sipped on her juice, looking up and raising an eyebrow to me in challenge.

_Oh, you think you've won this round, Miss Swan? I don't think so._

"Really, Bella? I always thought I was too...HARD." I emphasized the word hard with a pointed look directly into her eyes. At least she had the decency to look away and blush.

"Yes, well..." she half-whispered, focusing far too closely on her plate.

Attempting to lift the awkward moment we'd both created, and desperately trying to ignore the piece of pancake that still stuck to her breast, I changed topics. "So, where did you learn to cook like this?"

Her smile returned, blooming across her face, and she looked up at me again. I could stare at those beautiful dark irises for all eternity.

"Well, my Granny Swan taught me most everything I know. Mom was a shitty cook, bless her heart, and Granny insisted that one of us should learn how to cook a hearty meal, so that my dad wouldn't waste away to nothing."

"I can say, without any doubt, your dad must have weighed a ton if he had your delicious cooking to consume every day."

She smirked in response, "Yeah, he wasn't a small man by any means. It was all fine and good until he had the heart attack. Then mom took over the cooking again and she made us all go vegetarian."

"Oh?"

"It wasn't bad," she explained, "She actually was an excellent vegan cook, surprisingly enough. Dad dropped the weight and hasn't had a problem since, which I'm really grateful for. It just wasn't exactly what every teenager wants to eat, while the rest of your friends are pigging out on burgers and fries and pepperoni pizza. To be honest, it probably was a blessing, since the purity of the food seemed to clear up my acne."

I nodded. "I can't imagine you with acne. You have beautiful skin."

No, I wasn't going to reach out and caress that skin. Yet.

"So I take it you aren't vegetarian anymore?" I queried, knowing she thoroughly enjoyed the chicken laden pizza the other night. I kicked myself a bit for not asking her if she had any dietary restrictions. _Stupid Edward. Very stupid!_

The frown on her face had me puzzled, "Well, I sort of still am."

"And I made you eat chicken." It was more of a statement of fact, than a question.

"Well, it's not like I'm all PETA and can't eat anything with a face. It's more of a..."

"Lifestyle choice?" I ventured to finish.

"Exactly. I feel really healthy. I'm rarely sick. My skin looks great. My body's in great shape. I can't complain."

Because my verbal filter was on vacation, I added lasciviously, "I won't complain either."

Because Bella's appeared to be on hiatus too, she added with equal lustful fervor, "I _know_ you won't."

I can't really tell you what happened in that moment, where our eyes were connected by this invisible thread, holding our gazes in a hypnotic staring contest. My breathing increased and hers followed suit. And then the next thing I knew, we were practically climbing over the table to reach each other and I assaulted her mouth with my tongue. Of course, it wasn't really assault, because that would imply that my tongue wasn't welcomed. And let me just say this: it was VERY welcomed.

The maple flavor of the syrup added to the sweetness of the kiss, as our tongues explored and massaged each other. I couldn't get enough of her essence as I drank her in. If one could get drunk on a kiss, I'd have been an alcoholic.

And then I was pushing plates and food out of the way, as I sat her on the dining table. I prayed that the table was sturdy enough to support us, because flipping the table on top of ourselves would be a major cock block. Thankfully, the table wasn't going anywhere for the time being.

Her legs snaked around my waist, drawing my pelvis closer to her own, as our mouths danced together. I needed to taste all of her, so my lips ventured past her mouth, nipping softly against her jaw. The moans she emitted spurred me on further and I nuzzled further to her ear, leaving soft breaths to tickle her earlobe.

"Mmmmm...Edward," she moaned, pulling me closer with the vice grip of her legs.

My cock met the heat at the juncture of her thighs, luring it towards her like a moth to a flame. It had it's own dance, as my hips dipped and swirled against her, leaving a deliciously painful hardness wherever it stroked against the warmth.

Bella met my rhythm perfectly, grinding softly against my erection, causing tingling pinpricks to develop in my crotch.

"Bella, please...I want...oh god," I chanted incoherently. There was no chance I'd be able to have a complete thought until I found some kind of release. She just felt so..."good" wasn't an accurate portrayal. Stupendous? Out of this world?

And while I was trying to find a word to quantify how she felt, Bella had been working at my zipper, because soon the scratch of fabric was replaced by the smoothness of the palm of her hand, stroking me into submission like the whipped puppy that I was. I'd be her willing slave if she never stopped caressing my manhood.

And while I searched my mind to find a way to pledge my very soul for a taste of her warmth, Bella had been working at her own zipper and slipping her pants down over her ass, which was probably why my hands were able to start kneading the flesh of her tiny tush, bringing her impossibly closer.

And while the tip of my aching penis became drenched in the opening of her most intimate place, Bella had drawn me closer still.

"Bella, I don't have..."

"Shhh...it's okay. Just feel, baby."

With little pomp and circumstance, I was plunged into ecstasy as I was slowly enveloped by the tightest, wettest, warmest cocoon I ever had the pleasure of knowing. Potent pleasure wept from my dick, as it was rhythmically tortured with the slick embrace of her pussy. Her sighs and moans caused her inner walls to pulse and throb around my aching rod. Our lips whispered unspoken declarations of love and devotion, in a tangle of tongues and teeth.

"Bella, I'm going to..."

"Please Edward, I..."

My thrusts became erratic, as I felt my climax roaring at me like a freight train. My fingers reached between us to tap and swirl around her swollen bundle of nerves as I found my release far too soon.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I chanted into her neck, as I worshiped her body and soul and spilled my seed into her in offering.

Despite the instant lethargy that fought to claim my body, I continued my intimate massage of her body, bringing her to her own climax a few minutes later, and then collapsed on the table beside her.

"Wow..." she exclaimed in a hushed declaration, still clinging to my body.

"Yeah..." I had to agree with her. My arms squeezed around her.

"That was..." Apparently, Bella lost coherent thoughts when panting and post-coital.

"You like?" I prodded, needing the requisite male ego boost.

"No."

Okay, not the answer I was expecting.

"Oh?" I tentatively questioned, trying not to sound too disappointed.

"I LOVED!"

We laid wrapped around each other on this cold uncomfortable table.

And there was no other place I'd rather be.


	13. Chapter 13

We lay on the wooden table together, the hardness digging into my hips as I curled myself against Bella.

_We had sex. Wow. We totally just had bangin', hills-are-alive-with-the-sound-of-music sex!_

"Ahem," I cleared my throat unconvincingly, "so, this wasn't necessarily how I was intending for this date to go."

Bella snorted in disbelief. She knew me so well already and we barely knew each other.

"No, really!"

"Uh huh..."

I tipped her chin so she could see the sincerity in my eyes.

"I mean it Bella. Our first time together...it should have been...special. You know?"

Bella looked at me with incredulity in her gaze. "I don't know. I'd call passionate table sex pretty damn special."

How did she manage to make me feel better with that statement?

"Well, I'm glad you liked it then. And, as much as I'm enjoying this moment of post-coital spooning afterglow, I think there's another spoon somewhere that's violating a very indecent part of me right now." I hoped that wasn't too much information, because it was true. I like anal spoon sex as much as the next guy, but even I have my limits.

I felt sort of bad when I realized that we really hadn't removed that much of our clothes. We hadn't even really had any foreplay.

"Bella?" I ventured to apologize, while I stood there like some kind of mook and waited for Bella to bring me a wet rag to clean myself. Yeah, I was so excited to have dipped my wick that I'd almost pulled my boxers on without cleaning up first. That would have been a fun sticky mess later. Did you know that jizz acts as a replacement for super glue when introduced to fabrics? It's true. You can Google it.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Bella inquired, concern knitting her brow.

It was kind of hard to think right then, because instead of handing me the rag, she decided to clean me herself. And she was being quite thorough about it. The warm cloth stroked my balls gently, then swiped over and around my still sensitive dick. What was I going to say again?

"Foreplay!" I blurted out like a kid with Tourette's syndrome.

Bella's eyes widened in shock at my outburst.

"What about foreplay, Edward?" How the hell did she remain so calm?

"Sorry," I apologized, collecting my thoughts now that her hand finally left my no-no place. "What I meant to say, when my brain took that temporary hiatus, was that there wasn't any foreplay."

"I'd gathered that," Bella smiled up at me, amused by my incoherent ramblings.

"What I mean is that there should have been foreplay. Lots of it." Why wasn't my brain working? Would it look weird if I smacked my head repeatedly to possibly jump start it?

"Hmmmm," Bella tapped her chin in thought, "I would have to say I agree with this assessment."

My head hung in shame.

"I ruined this for you. Our first time and I totally ruined it. God! I acted like a complete teenager seeing his first set of boobs! What is wrong with me?"

While I ranted, Bella had stepped closer and wrapped her arms around me, my dick pressed into the sliver of skin that showed on her midriff. I know I just came not even ten minutes ago, but the exquisite feel of her warm skin caressing that appendage revived it and it stood at attention, pointing to her chin (and more specifically, her mouth) as if to say "you're next".

That's when I noticed her staring at me with hunger in her gaze, her hips purposefully swaying back and forth...back and forth...coaxing The Beast back out of it's flaccid prison like a one-eyed snake charmer.

I think I may have moaned or something.

"You were saying, Edward?"

"Was I talking?" _No really, had I been talking? _

"Something about foreplay, I think," she looked pointedly at me, that evil eyebrow all but drawing a diagram for me.

Craving more contact, more friction, just...more...I grabbed her and pulled her close, wedging my erection between our bellies. My lips were a divining rod and easily found hers, as I pulled first the top lip, then the bottom, into my mouth. A whimper escaped her lips, a desperate plea for something that only I could give her. My moans replied in an unspoken promise to quench the fire that burnt between our bodies, threatening to consume the both of us in lustful flames.

My lips released hers, eliciting a pout from the beauty before me. Pressing her body tightly against mine, our most intimate parts begged to fit together like puzzle pieces. My mouth gently caressed her cheek as I reached her ear, gently nipping at the flesh just below the lobe.

"Bella?" I inquired, listening to her panting breath in my ear as I softly teased the flesh of her neck, not quite kissing it, just sweeping my lips back and forth.

"Yes, mmmmmmmm...Edward?" She sounded just like one of those women in the movies, all gasping breaths and wanton moans.

What she failed to notice, while I was putting her under my spell with the teasing of her erogenous zone (What? I read Cosmo!), I was redressing her a bit.

"It's time for our date. Let's get these dishes cleaned up and put the food away."

Bella pulled away from me, slightly stunned.

"But...I thought..."

"As much as I'd love to spend the entire day making passionate monkey love on various surfaces of your home," I interrupted, "my purpose in coming over was to take you out on a date."

"But..." she protested again, desperation clear in her voice.

Because I wasn't a total dick, and because I'm not a complete monk, I let her off the hook a bit.

"But, if this date goes exceptionally well, perhaps I'll need to thank you for a lovely time. However shall I do that?" I tapped my finger on my chin, thoughtfully.

"W-with...your penis?" Her eyes shone with hope.

"Perhaps," I answered.

Boiling anticipation is part of seduction, right?


	14. Chapter 14

If you guessed that I, Edward Cullen, masculine manly man of Testosteroneville skipped merrily through a field of tulips with my lady love, you'd only be half right. It was more like violets. In a meadow. Not in public. And really, it was more like jogging, not skipping.

I wasn't going to do something cheesy and super ultra romantic like a picnic. No, I was too stuffed with those toe-curling orgasmic pancakes I'd had earlier. I daydreamed that I'd sneak one in a Ziploc baggie and make sweet, sticky love to it in the privacy of my own home. Hopefully, someone wouldn't break in while I was devirginizing a breakfast item. That would make for an interesting headline. If Bella caught me, I think she would have empathized. She's understanding like that. She'd probably let me eat it off of her body before I doused her with my own Edward Cullen Specialty Syrup.

_When did I become such a pervert?_

I wanted to be all brilliant and original, doing something with Bella besides your typical dinner-and-a-movie cliche, which inspired me to suggest a romantic hike through the forest. What I didn't count on, was that hiking across forest terrain is pretty fucking grueling and, even though I'm in pretty decent shape, I was dripping sweat from every pore of my body, including the less desirable areas.

Then, Bella started getting tired before we reached our intended destination and like a damned fool, I offered her a piggyback ride. It started off as a way to feel her heat (and by her heat, I mean her womanhood) pressed against the small of my back while I carried her and looked all strong and manly. Then, I realized her heat (and by this heat, I mean her actual body temperature) was causing my back to work up into a very non-sexy sweaty lather.

On top of worrying about my back sweat, which was slowly seeping through my t-shirt, I was praying we didn't get eaten by a bear or a wolf.

Thankfully, Mother Nature provided us with this spectacular background of blooms and vibrant green grass. Perhaps said blooms would cover up any body odor that I produced during the Hike From Hell.

"Oh my god, Edward!" Bella exclaimed, "This is gorgeous!"

I reflected my grin back at her, while I mentally patted myself on the back and congratulated myself on a job well done. What can I say? I have top-notch wooing skills.

"You like?" I asked, needing that extra ego stroke...among other things I wanted stroked.

"Are you kidding me? This place is...I...I have no words!"

The wonderment on her face spoke volumes and I watched her twirl through the wildflowers like a little girl. I just stood there and laughed at this goofy gal and reminded myself what a lucky bastard I really was.

I was pulled out of my reverie when I felt her warm hands envelop mine and pull me down onto the ground with her.

"Let's just bask in the sunshine, okay?" Her eyes slipped closed and she inhaled deeply, stretching her arms above her head and sprawling out across the grass.

Propping up on my side and resting my head on my hand, I just laid there watching her soak up the sun and looking so peaceful. The only other time I'd seen her this serene was when she was drugged up in my office chair...well, when her hands weren't wandering to my crotch. And now I was thinking of her wandering hands and what they just might do to me out in the middle of nowhere.

My eyes slipped closed and I rested my head on my arm, as the sunshine warmed my skin and the sounds of the forest lulled me into a light sleep. A while later, I felt fingers threading through my hair and I hummed in contentment.

"You look so cute when you're asleep," she whispered, stroking my hair and my cheek in an alternating pattern.

"Mmmmmm..." was my response, the relaxation making me a non-verbal creature.

Bella began giggling softly and I thought I heard the click of the camera on her phone, so I cracked one eye open to see what she was doing. As I sat up, a braid of flowers slid down over my brow and her giggles became full blown belly laughs.

"Bella, you did NOT just take a picture of me with a braid of flowers in my hair, right?"

She blinked innocently at me, then promptly burst into more giggles.

"Ha Ha. You think you're sooooo funny, don't you?" I looked menacingly at her. She wasn't fooled or intimidated in the least and I wasn't quite sure what to do with that bit of information.

"What's it worth to keep this from going viral, Edward?"

She wouldn't.

She wouldn't!

She...

I looked at her devilish grin and realized...

Yep, she totally would.

And apparently already did, as I watched her finger press a button and moments later my phone started ringing.

Alice.

"Yes?" I answered, only to hear massive guffaws in my ear.

I quietly hung up and pocketed my phone and looked at Bella like a panther might look at a gazelle after a ten day fast. The smile slowly melted off her face and I'd venture to say that she looked just the tiniest bit worried.

"So...anything you want to share with me?"

Bella blinked as innocently as she could fake.

"What? I don't know what you mean?"

My stare drilled into her very soul.

"Uh huh. You forget that Alice tells me all about you ever chance she gets."

Bella tried not to look worried.

"And what did Alice say about me?"

"Ohhhhh...I don't know...something about your stealthy little prank candid shots that you like to post on a certain social networking website like...FACEBOOK!" I think I sounded like the Church Lady right now.

Stalking closer to her on my hands and knees, I snatched the phone out of her hands and set it ever so gently to the ground, before I guided her to lay down on the grass. Her breaths picked up into lustful pants as I brought my mouth just inches from her face.

"Does Alice talk about me, Bella?"

She nodded.

"And what does Alice tell you about me?"

Bella gulped, still panting with want as my face drew closer to hers. I licked my lips in anticipation as I considered what I was about to do.

"That you like to get revenge?"

An evil grin spread across my face.

"That's right," I straddled her and clasped her hands in mine and brought them up and over her head. She squirmed as I fastened her tight to the ground and held both her hands in one of mine, my free hand tracing a line from the tip of her nose, down her lips, across the hollow of her throat, over the mound of her breast.

The free hand roamed and fondled, caressed and stroked her into submission, until she was nothing but a helpless kitten in my fierce grip.

And then I assaulted her underarms mercilessly.

"Noooooo...noooooooooo...I haaaaaaate being tickled! Noooooooo! Stoooooppppp! Edward! Please! I promise I'll delete it! I'll delete it!"

"What?" I asked over her screams, "You want me to what?"

"Pleeeeeeease! Stoooooooop! It's too much!"

"Nobody can hear you Bella. I could tickle you til night falls and there wouldn't be a thing you could do about it."

"I'll delete it! I swear!"

"Uh huh. Why don't I believe you?" My fingers dug into her sides, eliciting even more squeals.

"I will! You can even watch me!"

And, just as quickly as I started her torture, I stopped.

Bella panted heavily, swiping at the corners of her eyes.

"That was evil, you know?"

"Hey, I wasn't the one posting incriminating photos on Facebook."

"Oh, I'm all for tit-for-tat, but really? Tickling to death was the best way to insure my silence?"

Was she challenging me? Again?

"Bella, are you saying the punishment didn't fit the crime?"

She shrugged, "I'm just saying, pictures get deleted from Facebook profiles all the time, only to resurface at a later date."

That mischievous smile returned and I knew it'd only be a matter of time before I got another phone call from my sister. However, I had an idea forming and I knew just what I planned to do about it.

"Well, if and when it happens, just remember that I'm the King of Revenge."

"Ooooooh, I'm soooooooo scared," she taunted. "What are you going to do next? Nuzzle me to death?"

Bella really had no idea who she was toying with. No clue as to how I could possibly exact my revenge. But I was willing to bide my time. To be patient. Wait until she was unsuspecting.

And then, like a viper, I would strike.


End file.
